My first birth - the unwanted c-sect

My pregnancy with Sophia was fabulous. I loved being pregnant and read everything there was to read about birth and pregnancy. I went to hypnobirthing sessions and also some Birthskills classes with Juju Sundin. I was very determined to have a natural birth, with no intervention and booked into the birth centre of my local public hospital. The MW were great throughout my pregnancy and I felt supported and that I was in the right place.
On Saturday 14th October I was 9 days overdue or 6 or 13 depending on who you ask. During the afternoon I had a very sore stomach which just felt tight the whole time, not braxton hicks though. I thought maybe today was the day (I thought that every day though at that later stage!)
That night I was lying on the couch and DH was at work as usual, and felt a gush between my legs and thought yay, my waters have broken. I went to the bathroom and found to my horror it was blood, not water. It was all over my PJ pants and running down my legs – it looked so red. I rang the birth centre and they said to come in and get checked out. I was feeling a bit scared as I really wanted to birth in the birth centre but had a bad feeling about it and thought they would probably transfer me to the “delivery” side. I rang my husband and told him to meet me at the hospital and got my parents to drive me. I remember thinking that this would be the last time I would leave my house without a baby.
The doctor came and checked me and confirmed that it was a haemmorage, and that my waters had not broken. First she suggested that I might be able to have prostaglandin gel to induce overnight (it was 11pm by this stage) and have some monitoring overnight and come to the birth centre tomorrow. This sounded good. She then came back half an hour later and said that no, she has to break my waters and see what has happened. I agreed to this not realising that I would end up in delivery rather than birth centre. Anyway, my waters were broken (which didn't hurt) and more blood was found. So I was to be induced. I asked if I could try and start labour naturally and I had 2 hours to walk around and try and get things going. I did and had a few contractions but nothing that could convince them not to start syntocinon. So into the delivery suite at 1:30am I went to start on the drip with constant monitoring, rendering me immobile on the bed. One of the things I really wanted to avoid. Things got cranking pretty quickly with the drip and labour was feeling pretty strong. I was noisy so they kept on checking if I wanted pain relief so I relented to some gas at about 4:30 am. That worked for a while and they kept on cranking the drip up. I vomited a few times and made excuses to go to the toilet, just so I didn’t have to have those damn monitors on me. The first MW was the older type who was all business and wasn’t interested in all that birth centre type nonsense *roll eyes* Contractions were now long and strong and close together. The pain did not go between them either so no relief. At about 8:00am I had some pethidine which I don't think really did much. I was completely in my own world of pain by this stage and wanted no-one near me or talking to me, I couldn't really think. I was still bleeding lots but bubs heartbeat was strong the whole time. I knew she was OK somehow – it was me that was not coping.
Was feeling quite annoyed with the second midwife who was the coaching type saying"great job, you're doing really well etc" I was in no state to tell her to be quiet and she kept on telling my husband to come and sit next me and do the same. My husband spent the whole time sitting on the couch a distance away from me which was just where I wanted him. He knows me well enough to know exactly what I needed which was just to know he was there. Kept on chugging the gas. I had an internal at 8:00 am which was sooo incredibly painful- I was 4cm which was quite encouraging.
The day went somewhere? I was in a lot of pain. All I can remember is the sound of the drip motor thing dosing out more synto and that the MW smelt like stale cigarettes.
At about 3pm they wanted to do another internal which to my horror I was still 4cm. I was the told they wanted to do a caesarean as I had made no progress. I requested an epidural which didn't hurt, but it was hard to stay still during contractions. The anaesthetist was awesome and very handsome to boot! I can't explain the relief it was like a whole new world and I was back to myself, able to have a conversation etc. Sigh of relief! (In retrospect, I wish I had it earlier, but I didn't want to slow down labour)
I asked to continue labour and they said that they would give me another hour and a half to see if I would progress. So I chatted away, sent text messages etc. and felt great. 5:30pm came around and the Dr came again and checked still bloody 4cm!!. Caesarean it was to be. So I was prepped and taken in for surgery. My epidural was topped up heaps because I kept feeling the cold of the ice. I was excited, scared and nervous but looking forward to meeting our girl. I couldn’t believe how calm it was in the OT and the mood was fairly jovial. It was pretty quick from there and a few tugs and pulls, which felt rather odd, Sophia was born yelling her head off and very alert (apgars of 9 and 9)
She was 3.83kg and absolutely beautiful. I spent a while in recovery alone and was then wheeled back to a new room in the post natal ward where I waited for my baby girl and DH to come back. I had such an awful time in those first few days and was in tears most of the time and felt jumpy and hated visitors and phonecalls. I hated her waking up and hated the crying. I really withdrew from all around me and in retrospect, probably had PND though there is no way I would have admitted something like that to myself. I was so bitter that others could have normal births and when I saw pregnant women I felt sorry for them as maybe they would go through what I did. I also had major problems with breastfeeding, bleeding nips, vasospasm and mastitis in the first few weeks though we got through that and went strong for a year or so.
I guess I went into the birth so naïve – I never even read the section on caesareans in the books I read as there was no way I was having one of them! I think the move to the other section of the hospital really impacted on things as well as I really hate “medical” stuff like needles, canulas, uniforms, smells etc. but I think it was unavoidable given my bloodloss.

Thanks for sharing your story.

It's often hard to know whether surgery was neccessary or not. Do you know why you were bleeding or what caused it?

Thanx for sharing y9our story with us

Nope - no idea why the bleeding. I think that's the main issue in both of my births, with no explanation. I feel that the c-section in this instance was a lot more "unnecessary" than my second - but there's only so long you can bleed and not dilate without wondering why and doing something about it.
I wish I did know why I bled during labour though.

What was your placenta like?

have you spoken to other cp's about why you may have bled?

have you googled it?


For me, a part of healing will always be that with my first c/sec it was unnecessary, my second was needed. Knowing that makes a huge differene. not knowing must be a very complex thing for you! I hope you can get to the bottom of it. Have you viewed your medical records? Perhaps if you had them you could also show an IM, she might be able to shine some light on this mystery.

Apparently my placenta was perfect after both births and they never had a reason for the bleeding. It will certainly be one of the first questions I ask of someone else though when I get my notes.

I went to the bathroom and found to my horror it was blood, not water.

My gosh, I can't imagine how frightening that must have been for you. It must be so frustrating to not know what has caused the bleeding, I hope you find answers. Who and what have you consulted so far?