you can heal

I don't think healing is something that you can complete. I think it's something ongoing, and that we never know what will set off our pain or ptsd.

Just an example : I was fine for several years, but on my babies 10th b'day I was set off again by someone reminding me about how she had met my baby before I had (I posted about it here, I dont need to recap). That set off all sorts of things in me that I hadn't revisited in years!!! Granted I had covered lots of ground and was able to face that one head on and deal with it, but it still shocked me!

I think we can heal immediate things, but it's foolish to assume we will ever be wholly healed from such a trauma, that's like suggesting people can heal from child sexual assault / abuse.

Thoughts?

Funny, I was thinking of posting this exact same topic this afternoon.

No, I don't think you can heal completely. I think the nature of any trauma is, that from time to time, it will become hard again, that you will find other aspects of it to deal with, and during those times, it might feel really raw and uncomfortable and such.

The thing with PTSD is that it is shown to lower a person's tolerance to future trauma too, so we need to be extra gentle on ourselves!

Having said that, I think it is possible to heal enough (if that makes sense). If I didn't think the whole healing process can be a positive one, that you can grow from it, and make inroads to your pain and all that, I wouldn't be running this organisation. I think it's like when a loved one dies. You don't get over it. The pain, missing them and all that, will still be there. But you learn to live with it, and if you can depending on the circumstances, treasure their memory and not let their death bring your own life to a halt. You may not be able to get over it, but you can get around it in some way.

That's exactly what it is! Learning to live with it, not getting over it. Ofcourse that depends on what you're going through but ykwim

I'm finding that the grief of losing James is something that constantly resurfaces with a new facet. I might be ok for a week or so (but it's always the first thing and the last thing I think of on any given day) but then something comes up and off I go again. Grief is a weird thing!